Categories
Uncategorized

Did you try to help someone who can’t be helped?

Helping others can be rewarding, but it’s important to recognize when it’s being taken for granted. People often ask for help without intending to reciprocate, leaving us feeling used when they don’t show gratitude or disappear after getting what they want. While we naturally want to assist family and friends, setting boundaries is crucial to avoid being exploited. Reflecting on our own behavior and discussing concerns with trusted individuals can provide valuable perspective, helping us balance generosity with self-care.

Have you ever tried to help someone who can’t be helped? Maybe it’s someone who doesn’t want help, but just something you have. Maybe they asked for help, but when you try they don’t take your advice or they have ulterior motives. What I mean by that is they just want money or a favor.

In many cases we help someone because we want to. It may be a simple favor or a big favor. We help them because we want to. Some people keep asking, keep pulling us in, and keep dragging it on. At what point do we say, “this is enough”?

Sometimes we help someone only to have them use it against us, or to get past us and move on without even a thank you. 

Maybe it was someone who promised to pay you back or return the favor, only they have no intention of paying you back. Maybe that’s harsh. Maybe they would if they could but can’t. Then they may ask you again, and again they ghost you after they get what they want. 

I am not talking about your kids or family. Let’s face it, most of the time you do anything for them and you don’t expect anything back. Unless you had an agreement in place before you helped them. While this doesn’t sound like much, it can be a character building lesson for kids.  

There have been many times I didn’t expect anything in return, this is the best way to go. I don’t want anything in return for favors, but sometimes people keep coming back. They keep pulling you in, wasting your time, until you eventually have to say no. If you wait too long to say no, then they expect your help. When this happens, suddenly you’re the jerk! Not them, they feel no guilt, only disappointment. 

I am telling you this because it’s happening more and more. People want something for nothing, which is fine, but be reasonable.

Then I think to myself, how often have I done this? Am I one of those people? I think I was with my dad. I was always asking him for help. Other than that, there are people I reach out to repeatedly for help or advice. I often ask them if they get tired of it and they say no every time.

On the other hand, people that keep reaching out to me get quite upset when I don’t have the time. I usually know it’s a problem when this happens. My wife is quick to point things like that out as well. She will make remarks about how often someone dips into my favor well but never returns the favor. I always say it’s about helping others, but I know she’s right. That’s one of my red flags. 

All I am trying to say here is sometimes you have to put yourself and your needs first. 

If you think this is going on, then please, take time to reflect. Maybe talk it over with a trusted friend or family member. At times like that I miss my parents, they were pretty blunt about that. They passed away several years ago, so that won’t happen.

What I can do is think about what they might say. This is a valuable tool. Step back, even outside yourself, and look at it from their perspective. Not your perspective, but the perspective of someone whom you trust and respect. 

It’s not as easy as you think. That’s because you’re you. 

Remember two things, 1) it helps to see things from another perspective because that helps give you clarity and 2) you just can’t help everyone. Maybe knowing these little facts can give you some peace. 

The Private Wireless Networks Handbook!

More:

Summing it up:

Have you ever tried to help someone who doesn’t seem to benefit from it? Sometimes, people may not want your help, they might just want something you have, like money or a favor. You might offer advice, but they ignore it or have hidden motives.

We often help others out of kindness, whether it’s a small or big favor. But what do you do when someone keeps asking for more, never satisfied, or uses your help for their own gain without gratitude? It’s even more challenging when they promise to repay you but never do, or they disappear after getting what they needed.

This isn’t about family or children, whom we usually help without expecting anything in return. However, there comes a point when you must set boundaries. If you don’t, people might start taking your help for granted, and if you refuse, you’re suddenly seen as the bad guy.

It’s becoming common for people to expect help without giving anything in return. It’s important to be generous, but also reasonable. I’ve had to ask myself if I’ve been guilty of this too, especially with my father, who I often asked for help.

When I’m unable to help those who frequently ask me, they get upset. My wife notices when someone takes advantage of my willingness to help but doesn’t reciprocate. She’s usually right, and it’s a warning sign for me.

The message here is that sometimes you need to prioritize your own needs. If you feel you’re being taken advantage of, reflect on the situation or discuss it with someone you trust. I miss my parents’ straightforward advice on matters like this. They’ve passed away, but I try to imagine what they would say, which helps me gain perspective.

Remember, it’s not easy to step back and see things from another’s viewpoint, but it’s a valuable skill to develop. It helps you understand when it’s time to say no and take care of yourself first.

Offers available:

  • All my older Deployment books and SOW training can be bought here!
  • Need unlimited mobile service for a good price? I use Visible and I like them. Think about Visible. Check out this deal https://www.visible.com/get/?ZHfvq, not too shabby.
  • Looking for a new credit card? I have an Amazon Prime card because I get 5% on Amazon purchases along with 2% on restaurants and gas and 1% on everything else. I love it! Use this link to get one.

Small business owners: Looking to sell or merge? I have partners looking to partner with small tech & IT businesses. Details:

  • Looking for companies in IT, Fiber (indoor or outdoor), wireless, Wi-Fi, FWA, Venue or DAS.
  • Looking for owners ready to sell or retire.
  • Smaller companies, maybe 4 to 15 employees.
  • Concentrating on the East coast, but open to US based businesses,
  • Email me at wade@techfecta.com.

Looking for financing to grow, expand, or purchase a business? I have a partner who can help:

  • Who they can help:
    • US based,
    • Someone looking for $10M and up,
    • Needing to grow, consolidate, or merge,
    • Email me at wade@techfecta.com.
  • About the Investor;
    •  Made 155+ completed transactions,
    • $2.4B+ deployed,
    • $1.4B of assets,
    • Focused on Technology, IT, and Wireless,
    • Been around over 15 years.

Leave a Reply