Do you ask yourself that often? How are you doing, really? I don’t mean financially or at the moment, I mean in general. How have you been feeling? Are you angry or sad or happy in general lately? Over the last week or month, has your temper been short or do you feel pretty good?
How often do you self reflect? When I was younger I didn’t self reflect until things went really bad. Then it was too late, I was in deep shit. I let things go on way too long.
It’s been over 20 years but I remember vividly when my wife was having an affair. I had no idea but eventually I figured it out. It ended in divorce and believe it or not, they’re still together. God bless them.
However, looking back I knew something was going on. I knew there was something wrong. In fact, reflecting, I realize now how bad things were between us. I should have taken time to reflect on how I felt and what the reality of the situation was. Maybe I didn’t want to know.
Back then I always thought things would work out. Things did, just not the way I had hoped. Things went in a completely different direction. I felt foolish. I felt hurt.. I felt betrayed. I felt like a guy whose wife cheated on him and made a fool out of him. I was ashamed!
To be honest, I still have scars from it but I believe I am over it. I learned to forgive, but it’s impossible for me to forget the pain and hurt. That never went away for me.
While I may be over it, I didn’t forget that it happened.
So these days, I ask myself how I am doing. I don’t make knee jerk moves like yelling at someone who pisses me off. What I do instead is try to see it from their view. That helps me understand and avoid being the asshole in the situation.
So, what I would recommend is to take a few minutes of your day, either in the morning ar at the end of the day, make sure you’re alone, then ask yourself how you’re doing. Take the time to reflect on how you really feel and take notice of the people that you were around for the last week or so. Think about their reactions, their responses, and how present they were with you. Then evaluate how you feel about it.
If you can do this with objectivity, you have a real chance to be aware of what is actually going on and your true feelings.
Do the work! Reflect quietly. Assess the situation. Ask yourself, how do I feel? How am I doing, for real?
This may help you throughout your life.
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